Please allow me to say I'm so sorry you needed to visit this page. If you came here for resources and information, please know my heart breaks for you. I can't even imagine the grief journey that you are beginning in your loss or anticipation there of! We all grieve differently, no matter the relation, relationships are different for everyone and so is grief. And as a friend once told me, death is more than just the loss of a person. So I wanted to offer some suggestions that you may or may not have considered to help as you begin your grief process...

If your loved one is dealing with a terminal disease:

• Take pictures together and schedule a photoshoot ASAP. Please note if life saving measures are being taken such as radiation or chemo, you will want to take pictures before that process starts as it can take a toll on a person's appearance. 

• If the individual has children/grandchildren, he or she may want to write letters for the (grand)child(ren) to open on their birthdays or certain milestones, like their 18th birthday, their graduation, or their wedding day. 

• You can do the above with video as well. Speaking of videos, take as many as you can. They will be priceless and so appreciated in the days, weeks, and months to come. 

• Say all the things. Talk to your loved one and say everything you feel like you need to say. 

• You can purchase family casting kits on Amazon and do a cast of their hand, your hand in theirs, multiple hands, etc. Family Casting Kit Options Note: This can be done at anytime, but it's not too late, especially if the situation was sudden and unexpected. 

• Make art together! Partner art...one picture split between 2 canvases, with each person working on half. Make things with finger prints and hand prints.

• If health allows, take that trip, do that thing, go to that place. Whatever you do, keep making memories! But while you're taking pics, recording moments and documenting things, be careful not to be so consumed with the future that you miss staying present in the present. 

• If the individual is up to it, host a living funeral. A living funeral is usually done by someone who knows that they do not have much time left to live. Whether the reason is that the person is terminally ill or is at an old age, the person knows death is near and could use it as closure. It is used to celebrate the happy times, and forgive the body for "failing."

• If they would like, help them plan their funeral and pick out songs and put their wishes to paper. 

• Visit with a minister or pastor, perhaps the one that may be asked to do the funeral. Be sure to settle any concerns of salvation or spiritual peace. 

• Above all, make the most of every day, every opportunity and every moment. 

If your loved one is entering their final days or you only have a little bit of time:

• Say all the things! Talk to your loved one rather they're conscious or not. Write a letter to be read if you can't be there...but say all the things you need to. They do hear you and if nothing else speaking allows you to get it out.

• Take all the pics and videos you need to. Not necessarily for social media but just to have. Remember you can always delete them, you can never go back and take them. *never take, or share pics of someone else's family member without their next of kin's consent.*

• You can purchase family casting kits on Amazon and do a cast of their hand, your hand in theirs, multiple hands, etc. Family Casting Kit Options Note: This can be done at anytime, but it's not too late, especially if the situation was sudden and unexpected. 

If your loved one has just transitioned:

• Take all the pics and videos you need to. Not for social media but just to have. Remember you can always delete them, you can never go back and take them. *never take, or share pics of someone else's family member without their immediate family's consent.*

• If you haven't been offered already, ask the hospital or the funeral home to do handprints and/or fingerprints for you. These could be used for necklaces or memorial options later. (Silver Handwriting Etsy Shop)

• If you're interested, you can ask the funeral home about doing a cast of their hand. You can purchase casting kits on Amazon. Hand Casting Kits. Typically, funeral homes are very good with letting you take the time you need with your loved ones and they will do whatever they can to help you in your grief. You just have to ask. 

At the Funeral, Memorial Service, or Celebration of Life

• Take all the pics and enjoy the time with family and friends who have come to pay their respects.

• Don't worry about what you think this time has to be. You get to decide how to honor, celebrate, and remember your loved one, while respecting their wishes. If they didn't dress up, you don't have to put your loved one in a suit/dress. Honor them by letting them be who they are. If you want to play a special song, or create a slideshow, work with the funeral home to make those wishes happen. If you have special scriptures or readings that you would like to be a part of the service, share that with the officient. If your loved one had a favorite color or was into sports or loved a certain theme, you can ask those coming to wear that color, sports gear or something in keeping with that theme. Ask the funeral home if you can bring special items of your loved one, that represent who they are, to be placed around the venue.

• If your loved one had collections (ties, scarfs, broaches, nicknacks, photos) that you are okay parting with, you could bring those to the service and allow family or friends to share in that time by taking an item with them.

After the Funeral:

• Save clothes and do not wash them as you could wash your loved ones smell away. These items and articles can be used for memory bears, blankets, pillows, quilts or other fabric based memorial projects later. (Memory Bears)

• If you have voicemails or handwriting, these can be used for memorial options as well. There are lots of options to choose when deciding how to keep your loved one close. (Memorial Gift Ideas)

• Write letters! Yes, I said it. Part of the reason we struggle in our grief is the change in relationship...rather you they were the person you told everything or the person you called  for certain things. Get a journal that reminds you of them or your relationship with them. And just write! Get it out, say it, put it out there! You really will feel better!

• Turn your photos into blankets or pillows! Pictures of your loved one or you and your loved one together can make for a cozy blanket or a soft pillow to hold that can help you in the days ahead. You can google photo blankets and photo pillows or checkout Walmart's Photo Website. I've received these gifts from my best friend and they have been a great source of comfort since losing my parents. 

• As you go through things, it's okay to not know what to do with something yet. As you are dealing with the stuff, have a keep pile, a donate pile, a sell pile, and an "I don't know yet" pile. "I don't know yet" can go into a storage bin and you can revisit it later, and go through the same process again. As time passes, your decisions can change.

• If and when you are ready, and would like to, schedule a FREE consultation with me to consider going through the Grief Recovery Method.

**Please note there are ads all over Facebook and social media sites offering you memorial options for purchase. Please be careful to purchase from reputable sites. Especially if you're asked to send pics and information.**

While I have been helping families plan funerals for nearly 20 years, additionally like many others, my life was forever changed in 2020. Not only through the pandemic and all of the changes that it brought to our lives, but in March 2020 I lost my Granddaddy and then less than 3 months later, I lost my Daddy. And then in November 2021, I lost my Momma. After so much loss so close to me, I have become even more sensitive to grief and learning how to navigate through it in a healthy way. Grief is just hard but through my pain I have found peace and I would like to be a blessing to others in their difficult days by being a friend, a support or simply offering suggestions that many of us do not think about when our hearts are broken.

As Photographer I'm available for Family Photography and End of Life Memories.

As a Minister, I'm available for:

• End of life planning Assistance

• Funeral/Memorial Service Planning Guidance

• Funeral & Memorial Services

• Private/Family Memorial Services

• Graveside Services

Other Resources:

Grief Thoughts: The Firsts

Understanding Mourning: The Six Needs of Mourning

How to Help Your Grieving Parent (and Yourself) After the Death of Your Mom or Dad

Family Reorganization After a Death

8 Helpful Child Grief Awareness Resources

Please click the link below if you have any questions about honoring your loved one or any of the services above. We're here to help you! Remember, there is no charge for consultations.